Michael Buble is DREAMY

I'm at work listening to my coworker's Pandora station and it's a lovely slow version of "Always On My Mind", which is one of my (confession) favorites anyway, but this one is by Michael Buble and it's DREAMY. As in "I could fall asleep listening to this song while someone played with my hair" dreamy. As in "slow dancing in the snow" dreamy. As in "hearing him say I have beautiful eyes he could get lost in and my freckles are perfect" dreamy.

NOT as in "wow, this client is awesomely hitting on me" dreamy. No. Not at all. Because A. that isn't dreamy and B. I actually did the "ring switch" under the desk. You know, the "ring switch", wherein a threatened female surreptitiously moves the ring she's wearing on her right ring finger to her LEFT ring finger in order to get someone to stop annoying her so much. I have done this before. It's easy for me because I'm always wearing a ring and have a vast array of sparkly rings from which to choose. [aside] This one time when I was engaged, my then-fiance didn't have any money or a job yet and so we used the pink sapphire and diamond ring I bought myself when I turned 30 as an engagement ring. [/aside] I don't remember the last time I actually did it, but I do remember that I started doing it when I was waiting tables many moons ago. I bought a cheap fake gold band and kept it in my apron pocket just to stave off people who creeped me out.

Now, bear in mind that I'm usually nearly completely oblivious to a man's efforts to hit on me and most of the time I don't really know someone is interested until he actually asks me out and even THEN I'm not sure for a couple of weeks what's going on. I only become aware of these things (Creepy Crushes, I call them) when something inappropriate happens (I had to pry a 14-year-old off me once), when someone points it out to me ("Strange Old Man stayed forever because he has a crush on you," she pointed out), or when the behavior turns a little confrontational ("Why HIM? Why can't you like ME that way?" he said). So something must have tipped me off about the most recent encounter with someone. Perhaps it was how, when he noticed me behind the desk, ponytailed hair and glasses and all, he said "well, heLLO there!" and kept going on about his awesome/different sense of humor ("I speak in rhyme") and how he was eyeballing me or something. Perhaps it was that. Perhaps. I got the distinct feeling that I really needed my Pretend Boyfriend (hi Josh!) to call me right then, or that I needed to have a visit from Ash (hi Ash!) or that I needed to (gasp) act.

Guess which slackers didn't get my Bat-signal? Yeah. THANKS, guys. I had to act, and act I did! I ring-switched and immediately did some character development that involved how My Husband and I met, what we did for our first date, how we had a fight about his crazy ex-girlfriend giving him a Christmas present, how we made up after that email from my crazy ex-boyfriend, how he proposed, what the wedding looked like, how the flower girls (so superfluous in LDS weddings) got sick eating cake all evening, where we honeymooned (Venice!), and how our apartment has a leaky faucet. Oh yes, friends, I had the back story all worked out before I was halfway through with the conversation.

This is how pathetic my life is.

If by "pathetic" you mean "super AWESOME"!! Who else gets awkwardly hit on by crazy old men and teenagers? Who else gets either blank stares, polite nods, or indulgent smiles when she tells people enthusiastically why she's going to New Mexico? Who else no longer gets a reaction besides a slight roll of the eyes from her family when she buys more jewelry? Who ELSE, I ask you, can pull out of her brain the year the metal eyelet was patented?

That's right, kids! The object of inappropriate adolescent and geriatric affection, that's who!

Yeah, I'm pretty awesome. :)