Saturday, January 12, 2013

Snow Part 2!

Hey, sweetie in the cute boots, the reason your feet are cold and wet and you're slipping is that your boots are stupidly cheap.  I know you're a starving student, but maybe next year, you could invest in some practical boots that are waterproof and warm.  Put some money aside, watch the sales, and please take care of yourself.  Cold wet feet are the worst, and I feel bad that you're hurting and miserable.

Also, tell your boyfriend to stop whining about how cold it is and wear a real coat instead of his gray hoodie.

Snow!

OH MY GOSH DID YOU KNOW IT SNOWS IN UTAH?!?  HOW CRAZY IS THAT??!?!1!1?!

Hey.  I spent most of my childhood in a very small town in one of the Big Square Counties in central/eastern Utah.  Our street wasn't paved until a couple of years before we moved.  We didn't have sidewalks.  We had to go to the post office to get our mail (imagine!).  I remember one year it snowed so much that the buses couldn't get from wherever they were stored and to our town, so school was canceled.  I remember one time coming home from somewhere, and my dad's old Dodge spun on the freeway, flipping us around so we were going the wrong way.  Fortunately, there was a break in traffic at that time and we didn't run into anyone or have trouble getting turned around.

When we moved to Orem, it snowed there, too.  I remember my wet hair freezing while I waited for the school bus in elementary school.  I think there were a couple of times it was so cold we weren't allowed outside for recess.  I took piano lessons from a neighbor who lived a couple of blocks away and since the lessons were in the morning before school, I mostly walked.  There were times it got pretty slippery.  One winter, the snow was deep enough, and the wind was strong enough, that we had really deep drifts in our side yard--I think one of my siblings made a snow cave--and church was canceled a couple of times even though our building was two blocks away.

I've had snow put down my back, I've slipped and fallen, I've been dumped in the snow, I've been so cold it hurts, I've had to leave my keys in the ignition and my car in neutral because it won't shift out of park when it's cold, I've had to wear fingerless gloves at work because I worked next to a drafty automatic door, but I've never been in a snow-related traffic accident.  Mostly because I drive like an old lady in the winter (unless the roads are clear and you're in front of me going 30 mph when you CAN and SHOULD be going 60 you jerk).

When I took Driver's Ed in high school, I went out on the driving range a couple of times, but didn't actually schedule my road training until Mr. Allred (rest his soul--he was a good teacher) called me out of the blue the winter after Driver's Ed and told me it was time I got in some road work.  In the snow.  And the ice.

So that, combined with learning from my dad's training as a long-haul trucker and my mom's extensive winter driving experience, has made it so I'm pretty ok driving in snow.  (Remember that one time I drove on Highway 20 to get from Highway 89 to I-15?  In a pretty good snow storm?  On an inch of ice?  In the dark?  Without a cell signal?  In the NIGHT?  It was pretty epic.)  (Seriously, Google Map it.  It's a cool drive.)  It's not so bad, really.  I (mostly) don't drive when conditions are obviously too dangerous, but I know how to handle a car in the snow.  I used to tell college friends from California or Oregon three simple rules:  If there's snow, always assume there is also ice; cut your speed in half; and give yourself twice as much time to get anywhere. If they wanted more tips, I would add the following:  if you slide, steer into it and don't slam on your brakes; the car's natural momentum is more useful than hitting the gas really hard when you're stuck; heavier cars generally are easier to drive (I drove a '78 Buick LeSabre and a '78 Chevy station wagon in high school, so I know); don't panic if you get stuck; if you can control your slide, steer into a ditch or onto a lawn because that's better than hitting another car; if you need traction, head for the snow or slush and not the smooth ice; be patient if you get stuck; and, bringing us to the rant, TURN ON YOUR STUPID LIGHTS.

Honestly.  Never assume that, just because you can see, others can likewise see you.  If you're driving a small dark car, it's really hard for other drivers to see you coming.  Just turn on your lights.  It's a little switch, right there next to your steering wheel.  Turn it.  It's not hard.  Unless you don't have arms, you have no excuse.  Even if you don't have arms, use your feet.  Turn on your lights so I can see you in the blinding snow, fog, and spray from trucks.  Holy cats, people.  Turn on your lights.

Have I made myself clear?  Turn on your lights. 

Gosh.

Also?  Everyone?  Calm down about all this snow.  Yeah, it's hard to shovel, and you might miss some work, and your power might go out (which is hard), and your furnace is dying, and you might slide off the road (which sucks, please don't get hurt) and you're going stir-crazy, but remember how everything was on fire last summer after that unnervingly mild winter?  Remember that?  Remember how half a MILLION acres burned in Utah alone, and there was ash in the air and Colorado Springs almost was no more?  Remember how we almost ran short of water to put out the fires?

Me too.  I'm grateful for the snow.