I'm getting into some bad sleeping habits again. Habits that hearken back to that one time I was afraid to sleep and was terribly sleep-deprived for over a year because of the exhaustion and horrific nightmares and the very weird phobia of sleep itself.
I get worked up by something and can't settle down, so I start to worry about not sleeping, and the worrying works me up even more, and I worry more, and I get more and more tired, and by the time I finally convince myself that I'm NOT going to have nightmares about people murdering my family, it's after midnight (see? ugh) and my alarm goes off around 5:30. Now, I'm not a wimp, but the accumulated months (maybe years?) of weird, restless sleeping is doing a number on me. I power through, but I really hate this. Maybe I need to start taking a melatonin supplement or something. Or finally bite the bullet and buy a new mattress. blar.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
It's a grumpy week, apparently
So I'm going to rant a bit and get it out of my system.
The office manager's radio is on in her office, and it's so loud I can hear it pretty clearly out here. I do not think her Top 40 is appropriate for our office, but there's nothing I can do about it except turn up my Baroque music ever so slightly.
I saw a captioned picture of a track and field athlete who was in (obviously) awesome shape because she's a track and field athlete. The caption on the picture seemed to imply that if a woman is pretty and in excellent shape, what she REALLY wants is to be a stripper. My sister and I were both disgusted, and came up with a set of implied rules for women in our current society:
1. If a woman is pretty and toned, she really just wants to be a stripper/hooker/arm candy/escort or otherwise willing to have sex with any and every man who wants her.
2. If she doesn't want to have sex with any and every man, she just needs persuading.
3. If, after persuading, she STILL doesn't want to do this thing (because, I don't know, she's nauseated or annoyed by such constant advances), she has to be a lesbian.
4. If she's not hot, she's invisible.
I hate having to repeat myself or rephrase something three times and STILL know the other person has no clue what I just said.
I'm a little discouraged and disappointed lately. I'm getting tired of trying things and either not having them work out or lose to someone else. It's very hard--blow after blow for over a year--and I don't think I'll ever get used to it.
I don't get paid enough, but I know I'm lucky to have a job with such good benefits.
Every time I see an able-bodied person (whose hands are not full) using a disability access door button, I want to say "do you really need to do that? Really? I see that you have two legs and two arms and are able to use all of them. Aren't you lucky."
I want to do a million things but I either don't have the money or the time for more than maybe two of them. It's very frustrating.
On a happy note, I am starting my first spinning class! No, not the cardio workout at the gym, but spinning fiber into yarn with a spinning wheel! I'm so excited!
The office manager's radio is on in her office, and it's so loud I can hear it pretty clearly out here. I do not think her Top 40 is appropriate for our office, but there's nothing I can do about it except turn up my Baroque music ever so slightly.
I saw a captioned picture of a track and field athlete who was in (obviously) awesome shape because she's a track and field athlete. The caption on the picture seemed to imply that if a woman is pretty and in excellent shape, what she REALLY wants is to be a stripper. My sister and I were both disgusted, and came up with a set of implied rules for women in our current society:
1. If a woman is pretty and toned, she really just wants to be a stripper/hooker/arm candy/escort or otherwise willing to have sex with any and every man who wants her.
2. If she doesn't want to have sex with any and every man, she just needs persuading.
3. If, after persuading, she STILL doesn't want to do this thing (because, I don't know, she's nauseated or annoyed by such constant advances), she has to be a lesbian.
4. If she's not hot, she's invisible.
I hate having to repeat myself or rephrase something three times and STILL know the other person has no clue what I just said.
I'm a little discouraged and disappointed lately. I'm getting tired of trying things and either not having them work out or lose to someone else. It's very hard--blow after blow for over a year--and I don't think I'll ever get used to it.
I don't get paid enough, but I know I'm lucky to have a job with such good benefits.
Every time I see an able-bodied person (whose hands are not full) using a disability access door button, I want to say "do you really need to do that? Really? I see that you have two legs and two arms and are able to use all of them. Aren't you lucky."
I want to do a million things but I either don't have the money or the time for more than maybe two of them. It's very frustrating.
On a happy note, I am starting my first spinning class! No, not the cardio workout at the gym, but spinning fiber into yarn with a spinning wheel! I'm so excited!
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