Friday, October 5, 2012

Small October Rant (in which I abuse parenthesis!)

Besides the fact that, apparently, October and I are best frenemies (forever!) (more on that later) (maybe), I have a couple of rants.

Remember That One Time (I really should trademark that) I was kind of glad last winter was pretty mild, but only because my car never had a problem shifting out of park because it wasn't very cold?  That was a relief, but the weather was too dry and caused a lot of problems this summer (2012:  The Year Everything Caught On Fire All The Time).  As it gets cooler, I look forward to crazy snow storms and below-freezing nights, but then I remember that I have this car with a rebuilt transmission (known as a tranny in the trade, and not what you might think a tranny is, although sometimes--like right now--I might think it's funny to give my transmission a drag queen name), and the rebuilt transmission doesn't like to shift out of park when the temperature drops below 20 for any appreciable amount of time.

The technical reason is that the shifter rod that engages the gears when you push the little button on my shifter, is a little too short.  Plastic shrinks in the cold, and when it's too cold, my shifter rod doesn't QUIIIITE engage the gears in the 6-year-old transmission.  The part is no longer manufactured by Ford (just one of many reasons to never buy a 1995 Taurus, much as I like my car most of the time) and a transmission guy I talked to said he could jimmy a part, but I decided not to do that because I figured eventually I'd be able to buy a new car.

Nnnnnope.

Life got in the way, and I haven't been able to afford a new car, so I'm stuck with my trusty Ford (which EVERY mechanic who looks at is says is a great, solid, car with a good engine, and to whom I usually reply with a sardonic laugh and the reminder that it's only a good car because I replaced the transmission, which is worth more than the car is) for the time being.  I dread the coming of winter, because I know that I'll either have to leave the keys in my car and the car in neutral, or start it as soon as I get out of bed and leave it running while I shower and get dressed in the hope that it will get warm enough that it will shift the heck out of park.

Luckily for me, no one wants to steal my car.

But, man, I really wish I could get a new car.  A new car with a good transmission (possibly named Feathers) and good door panels that happen to be insulated (unlike mine) against road noise and a better stereo.

Maybe I can get one of those "Overhaulin'"-type shows to glam up my car.  Then again, who wants to see a glammed-up 1995 Ford Taurus?  (But I'm really curious to see what they could do to make it cool; maybe turn it into a Dodge Challenger?  That would be magic!)

Also, why were Mustangs SO DARN UGLY in the 80s?  Is there any logical explanation for that?  Because, really.