hahahahahaha!

So there's a city across the lake that is really a glorified subdivision of one of the cities north of me. I call it a fake city, because they don't have a post office or a Target or a mayor. Also, it ruins my daytime view across the lake. Don't get me wrong, it's a pretty place to live, but it's not a real city like it pretends it is and it is full of cookie-cutter stucco houses with no personality. Thus my vitriol.

Anyway, I just heard on the news that there's an infestation of spiders, which made me laugh and laugh. I both hate and fear spiders and I would not want to have an infestation of them in my house, so I kind of feel sorry for those people. On the other hand, why are they surprised and/or shocked? They moved into natural spider territory--how can they expect nature to conform itself to suburbia? Of COURSE there are going to be spiders! Just like there are probably coyotes and cougars in the (almost fake) city in the next valley over where people are complaining that there's not a guarded road for their kids to walk to school! YOU moved there, YOU wanted the "country" feel, and now YOU want the country gone! Freaks. The reason you moved there is the reason you're complaining! Do you not see this? Apparently you don't, and the irony is lost on you.

Man. If I ever moved out there, while I wouldn't exactly enjoy raccoons tipping over my garbage cans, at least I'd EXPECT it and do my own work to make sure my garbage cans didn't get tipped over instead of whining to the feds about it. I'd EXPECT coyotes and actually be pretty excited if I saw one, but I'd sure keep my pets indoors. I'd EXPECT hawks and not keep small rodent pets outside. I'd EXPECT spiders and use sonic bug repellers in my house. I'd drive my kids to school in the winter, or bundle them up really warm, install tracking systems in their heels so I could track their 1000 mile trek across the Great Divide on my high-def bigscreen.

Yeah. If I ran the world...