A small list of annoyances upon which I shall elaborate later:

Clear Play DVD players

Ugly jewelry

Historical romance novels



I said it was short. :)

People. Really.

It is very hard for me to pay attention to you when you stand at the extreme corner of my desk where I can't even see you. What happened to walking around to the FRONT of the front desk instead of parking just outside my peripheral vision and getting impatient when I don't turn around because I CAN'T REALLY SEE YOU?

If I didn't have clients in wheelchairs who NEEDED to use the shorter portion of my desk, I'd stack things up along that side so you'd be forced to walk your lazy selves around to the front where I can see you.

HONESTLY. Time to get the plants out of the staff room and strategically place them on my desk. I love people-herding.

Ring shopping

Ha ha ha. No, I'm not engaged. I'm not even dating right now. I'm shopping for my annual birthday ring. I try to buy myself something sparkly on my birthday--a tradition that really started back in 1996 or so when my grandfather gave me some cash for my birthday and I decided to use the money to buy myself presents "from him"--and it's usually a ring. Last year I bought my class ring to celebrate finally getting my degree, the year before was a big garnet. Because I'm partial to yellow gold (and because I have a lot of silver already) and because I like keeping it balanced between middle finger rings and ring finger rings, it can get tricky finding something I'll wear that I don't hate. Did you know the industry standard ring size is a 7? You didn't? Well, it is. And my ring finger is a 5.5-6. This year I decided to go for blue topaz in yellow gold. Not just any blue topaz, mind you. I want London blue or a new one called "Neptune's garden". The nature of topaz is such that it can be coated with various minerals to make for some really lovely colors and iridescence, and I'm all for unusual stones--who else do you know who has an ametrine? Probably no one. Anyway, I want one of those in yellow gold. And I don't want a solitaire. And it has to be under $500, because that's the most I'll pay for a ring right now. And I don't want to have to pay to have it resized. And I don't want it wider than half an inch. And I want it to have an old-fashioned/antique feel.

Now, you do a search for me and see if you can find ANYTHING (in the United States, anyway) that meets those criteria.

I dare you.

And if you magically find something, you may earn my undying love and possibly dinner.

Too much to ask?

I don't think it's too much to ask that a single man over 25 has at least one pair of quality shoes, the ability to match his clothes to each other and the occasion, and more than white ankle socks in his sock drawer.

I honestly don't think it's too much to ask. I've managed to figure out what shoes are a good investment (granted, I have an advantage because I know an awful lot about clothes, but it's not that hard to do), I don't waste money on bad (cheap, ugly, low quality, etc, because inexpensive costume jewelry is just fine by me!) jewelry, and I care that my clothes match who I am, where I'm going, and each other. I refuse to look like I just got back from the gym or rolled out of bed unless I HAVE just done those things.

Get a grip, guys. You're adults now. Put a little effort into what you wear and how you look. I'm not asking you to look like Brad Pitt all the time, but pretend that what you wear matters, ok? Thanks.

Must we? Really?

I didn't have time for my usual "breakfast" (with soy milk! Hooray for protein!) and grabbed a banana instead. Now, you'd think that a banana would be a good idea because it's mild (part of the B.R.A.T. diet) and easy to chew and thus won't trigger my gag reflex or any related nausea.

Not so.

NOT so.

As soon as that thing hit my stomach, I experienced a quite unpleasant wave of nausea. It's still waving, 10 minutes later. I am not pleased. I can handle just about anything, but nausea is my Kryptonite. All I want to do right now is go home and go back to bed until it's over. I hate this. Please bless that I don't actually hwarf on anything.

Go here.

Click!

Reunion.com can bite me.

For those of you not on Facebook, I'm copying and pasting a brief but highly descriptive rant about why I deleted my Reunion.com account.

Here is why I'm deleting my account. I will provide commentary later, I'm sure.

1. Subject: Nice Girl

Body: HI

YOU ARE GIF OF GOD
WELCOME TO US

BYE BYE

2. Subject: Nice Girl

Body: Hi Heidi

I am Happy Talk to you
you are angel of god
I would like meet wich you
any time Call me ***-*******

bye bye

my angel

3. Subject: Hmm!!!! shot at love

Body: I met a fredia long time ago in hounduras? You look so much like her' but she has passed away now.So i know its not her' but you are pretty and i was ust kidding about the shot at love thing.I heard on the tv show and thought it would funny to ask a girl that.

take care.

4. Subject: Nice pic!

Body: I don't know you but I thought I would drop a line and say hello!

5. Subject: hello

Body: Hi,

My name is M_____ Brown, I am a new person in this site, I'm a fun and energetic guy looking for someone to spend time with and hopefully grown with into a relationship. People say that I have a sense of humor and that I'm fun to be around. I love to laugh, and I love making people laugh. I consider myself a good listener and enjoy great conversation. My family and friends are very important in my life, and I spend time with them whenever I have the opportunity. My music taste is very eclectic, ranging from alternative and classic rock to 80's music and current pop. I love sports, both watching on TV and going to games, but I'm also a guy who loves sappy, romantic movies. I like going out on the town and also love quiet times at home.

I'm looking for an honest and beautiful lady, who has a passionate heart and a kind soul -- someone with a rugged side, who's still in touch with her emotions. I love a great sense of humor, but need someone who can be serious too. Basically, I'm looking for a lady who knows who she is, loves life and wants to share her life with a guy who has so much to give.

You need trust to love, but first you need to love in order to trust, Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end. If it is meant to be, our hearts will find each other when we meet.

I will lovely to know more about you and you can send your reply to me (____guy_@yahoo.com) or you meet me online for yahoo messenger for instant chatting, I will be very glad to hear from you soon.

Thanks

6. Subject: Hello,

Body: AM MARK FROM NEW YORK, I REALLY LIKE YOUR PIC, I DO NOT KNOW IF YOU CARE FOR A CHAT? I REALLY WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND AND KNOW YOU BETTER, THIS IS MY ID M***********_100@YAHOO.COM

........HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON...CHEERS.

7. Subject: lets chat

Body: Hi Freckles.. Your picture cought my eye. I saw that you were single. Im single too, I work long hours in the feald of constrouction between that and two boys 18 & 20 it does`nt leave much time to find someone special.. being a little shy dosent help things. hope to hear from you..Nick

8. Subject: hello

Body: hello heidi,

i find you to be a very attractive woman and you have lovely smile so i thought i would drop in to say hello and to leave my email address :) if you would like to chat i would like to hear from you.

m******@freestylephoto.biz

michael

9. Subject: Hello

Body: Hello,i saw ur pics and profile on here and i think yu are cute and nice,i will like to hear from you so we can know eachother better....Steven

GAH. Are you people KIDDING ME?!