A case of the grumps

I hate the phone.
I hate entitled attitudes.
I hate being hungry.
I hate, um, spiders.

Huh.  I was going to write an exhaustive list of things I hate today, but I kind of ran out of steam there.  I suppose that's a good thing, right? 

Maybe I'm just hungry, which makes me irritable.  Time to up the old blood sugar.

Let me just clear this up for you.

I know we all love to hear the "Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 so there you chumps!" schtick.  It's kind of empowering to think that one of the most beautiful women in the world was a size 14.  But.  Let's get this clear.  A size 14 in the 1950s is equivalent to a size 6 or 8 today.  Even at her heaviest, sweet Marilyn was still pretty small, although curvy.  What I think a lot of people don't understand is that movie stars (then and now) tend to be shorter than we assume and thinner than average.  People also don't understand that sizing has changed a lot in the last 50 years.  If it makes you feel awesome that Marilyn was a more voluptuous sex-symbol than many celebrities today, that's awesome, but don't kid yourself.  She was never considered "plus-size".

Don't even get me started on the number of old Hollywood stars who had drug addictions and eating disorders.  It's a sad, sad thing, isn't it?

I'll just get this out of the way right now

1. I don't want to find a new place for my master key at work.  The place I've hidden it for the last few months has been great, but this morning I came in to find the clip on the floor and the magnet nowhere to be found.  I ask you, how hard is it to put things back the way you found them?  How do you lose a big magnet?  Now I have to find a new place for my key because, without the magnet, I can't put it where it was.  Fun.
2. Maybe I'll just keep the key with me at all times.  That'll show 'em.
3. At least I was able to find a parking spot.
4. We're out of water bottles for the water cooler.  My quest to stay hydrated is thwarted!  Thwarted, I tell you!
5. I don't understand how someone can be kind, generous, and thoughtful, and yet wildly immature at the same time.  It's a paradox.
6. If you've had a bronchial cough since Thanksgiving, you should probably get that checked.
7. You know how sometimes you hate yogurt but there's nothing else quick and convenient?  It's been like that for the last couple of months.  It's all I can do to not gag while eating it.
8. At least I can listen to Paul Simon's Graceland online.  That's very helpful.