bleaugh

Angst. Angst angst angst angst angst.

Add a dash of a weird, unsettled feeling.

Stir in 18 heaping tablespoons of the certainty that something is just around the corner, but not quite visible yet.

Mix with 2 cups of THIS IS MADDENING.

Beat together with two weeks of not-quite-enough-sleep.

Gently fold in 3 cups of "why am I so lucky?"

Sprinkle in 1 cup of "what the devil?"

Knead with a visit to the chiropractor.

Let rise for 150 crunches.

Bake at 85 degrees for the rest of the year.

Remove from oven, let rest with a good book for a week before serving.

Passion

I thought it was a secret ballot. I thought no one was going to malign, criticize, or try to force my decision. I once thought politics were not a topic for polite conversation.

This is why I will not discuss candidates or join political groups on Facebook or MySpace. I don't need people hating me, calling me stupid, saying I've been brainwashed, telling me I'm heartless, assuming that I can't possibly believe what I believe.

And I thought it was bad hearing those things about my choice of religion. . .

Don't you hate it when...

...you realize you've spent the better part of Sunday afternoon kind of moping when you could have finished crocheting your sister's afghan? The afghan you started in February? And then you also realize that all you've had to eat is a sandwich, which kind of explains the headache you're getting?

I totally would hate that to happen to me...

So, yeah.

After all of that positivity in my last post, I somehow don't want to go to bed. I don't want to read, I don't want to watch TV, I don't want to sew, I don't want to drive, and I'm also very tired...but I don't want to go to bed.

I blame October and my general shortage of fun lately.

I am a boring person because, right now, I kind of just want to sit in front of a fire and stare and think. It's probably time to plan another Autumnal Conflagration or something.

bleh.

Baffling

After the events of the last few days, you'd think I'd feel like ranting. But I don't. I'm not sure why, though. Maybe it's because I'm tired, maybe it's because my brain is mildly confused, maybe it's just because this is how things are and I can't do much about it.

I actually sat at my computer trying to come up with a rant, but I just can't seem to do it.

huh.

So.

Here I am, rantless despite circumstances that would otherwise rabidly demand a rant, and I'm ok with that. I think. I'm not sure yet, to tell you the truth, and there are things that, for my own health and safety, I shouldn't rant about at all...perhaps this last week is one of them.

Regardless of the ambiguous status of a potential rant, it's been a good week in many ways. I got to see Mark Zupan speak as part of a conference at work, I have a blind date lined up for sometime in the near future, I had a great (I think) audition for a show I love (status TBA...), I wore my bright pink leather gloves today, I got to see a bunch of fake blood (yay fake blood!!) on the back of someone who intrigues me, I got to have Italian with my Favorite Cousin, and I got to hang out with a few of my favorite people (hi, Emily, Julie, Julie G, Jeremy, and Kyle!). Like I said, it's been a good week in many ways.

HOWEVER.

The fact that I don't know if I should rant or not is kind of annoying.

new site

Since we haven't figured out how to fix heidiaphrodite.com, I've registered heidiaphrodite.blogspot.com. So go there for now! And help me pick a new template!

I am bad at computers

Or, more specifically, I'm REALLY bad at understanding code. I have another blog (about which you may have heard) hosted through WordPress. Now, don't get me wrong, I really like WordPress for the most part. However, I don't understand the code involved, which means I log in, write a new blog, and hit "post" and things usually go really well...until about two weeks ago. Suddenly, I can't log in. At all. I've searched the support forums, and all the advice I can manage to find involves going into my PHP files and deleting broken code. Let me be clear: I have no idea if I even HAVE PHP, let alone what code to look for in said files/tables. I am highly annoyed. According to my smart brother, it appears as though there is something wrong with the template I'm using and the only way to fix it is to log in and install a new template. But I can't log in and if I can't log in, I can't FIX anything.

I am so frustrated that I'm about ready to somehow back everything up (as if I know how to do that short of cutting and pasting into Word) and just delete my account with them. The support forums have been very unhelpful to a code-moron like me and my brother is busy with work and family and shouldn't be expected to solve my stupid blog problems.

Any ideas? I'm at my wits' end, which isn't that far from the beginning lately.